Three Groups Counseling Will Not Work With: Part I

PART i: The Not Ready, But Wish They Were Crowd

I’m sure there are several great well-researched blogs/scholarly articles on why counseling doesn’t work for some.  But I’d like to do something different here and tell you, from my own experience, about three types of people who absolutely can’t change and how they can get ready to do just that…

First, in this blog series, we’ll talk about the “Not Ready (but wish they were)” group.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stared into the wishful faces of people who emotionally crawl into my office who aren’t ready for change, but really wish they were.  It’s a weird conundrum, for sure.  With this group, I can see traces of the desire to change; but, they seem to be stuck between parallel walls of shame and lack of motivation due to the fear of the potential of unintentional/undesirable outcomes (what could happen that they dread).

When they come into my office, this group says things like:

• Why can’t I just change? 

• Can you do it for me? 

• Hey Mr. Jeff, you have 20 days to fix me

• I’ve been through this before; doesn’t work

• I can’t seem to find a good therapist 

Like Rowdy, our therapy dog, I can smell it when these folks walk in.  Life, the cruel version of it, chews them up and spits them out repeatedly.  

Having enough of life’s beatings, they feel they’re ready for change. They know what needs to be done.  They may even know how to do it.  Doesn’t matter much though; because, whether they’ve discovered this or not, they like being chewed up and spit out...it’s comfortable, familiar...and nothing has to change.  

How can a person like this change? 

Stay tuned...