Three Groups Counseling Will Not Work With: Part II

Part Two: Not Ready, But Wish They Were Crowd

How You Can Change

It’s rather common thinking amongst mental health practitioners that in order for this group (the not ready, but wish they were group) to change, first, there usually has to be some type of negative catalyst mixed into their current situation.  The drugs run out; wife leaves; car crashes; electricity gets turned off; friends stop loaning money etc. The belief is that in order for them to change, the consequences of not changing have to finally outweigh the consequences for changing.  As long as life is good when cheating; lying; drinking too much; running from everything...why change?  When the negative outcomes of these “answers” begin to tip the scale, the thought of change is birthed.  And people often move into what we called the preparation and/or action stage of change.  Of course, sometimes, this “black hole” theory doesn’t work.  No matter how deep some go, they don’t get the memo.  So, if you find your life continuing to spiral out of control, I think you should ask yourself a couple of questions to see if change, at this time in your life, is possible: Is it possible that I’m denying the clues around me that I need to change?  (If so, what might that look like?)Are the people around me constantly irritated by my behavior, actions, lack of action, etc.? What’s keeping me from changing?  Is there some kind of payoff I’m getting from staying this way?

Hope this helps…

Jeff