It’s rather common thinking amongst mental health practitioners that in order for this group (the not ready, but wish they were group) to change, first, there usually has to be some type of negative catalyst mixed into their current situation. The drugs run out; wife leaves; car crashes; electricity gets turned off; friends stop loaning money, etc. The belief is that in order for them to change, the consequences of not changing have to finally outweigh the consequences for changing.
Read MoreI’m sure there are several great well-researched blogs/scholarly articles on why counseling doesn’t work for some. But I’d like to do something different here and tell you, from my own experience, about three types of people who absolutely can’t change and how they can get ready to do just that
Read MoreI can’t tell you how many times I come across people that say things like, “I’m ripe and ready for counseling, but I can’t get it.” It’s like we live in a vineyard full of mature grapes with no one to pick them. The grape pickers are trained and ready to start a pickin.’ They have the gloves, the machines, the know-how; but, they’re glued to their chairs; only able to pick the grapes within a 3-foot radius of them…
Read MoreAfter doing therapy for some time, it didn’t take me long to feel that I was involved in some kind of game as a therapist. I began to feel like I was on candid camera or I was part of a mass prank…
Read MoreI used to resent homeless people, especially in the winter. I had this autopilot response when I’d see them bundled up, clouds of carbon monoxide vaporizing above their heads, trading spots on cold concrete to try and find some kind of warmth…
Read MoreYesterday, I was thinking about why people become addicted. Don’t remember where I heard this, but while thinking of this, something I learned years ago came back to me. When we seek refuge in drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, love or whatever the addiction may be, we are attempting to satisfy one (or all) of these three needs…
Read MoreWhen I think about who I am as a therapist and why I decided to pursue this wonderful and wacky helping profession, there are three memories that seem to encapsulate something that is very difficult to put into words…
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